By Barbara Coloroso
Drawing on her many years of labor with bothered early life and her large adventure with clash solution and reconciliatory justice, bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso deals a distinct, useful, and compassionate publication destined to develop into a groundbreaking consultant to this escalating challenge. Coloroso is helping readers realize the attribute triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the damage, the bullied who is the objective (and who may possibly develop into a bully), and the bystander, the friends, siblings, or adults who do not act to defuse the placement. Readers research: What bullying is and what it's not; the 3 sorts of bullying; and the diversities and similarities among boy and lady bullies. Why contempt, no longer anger, drives bullying. Why hazing is a sort of bullying and the way cliques feed the matter. the variations among teasing and taunting and among flirting and sexual bullying. easy methods to learn the sophisticated clues baby is being bullied. 4 skills that safeguard your baby from succumbing to a bully. Seven steps to take in the event that your baby is a bully. the best way to support the bullied baby heal successfully, self-discipline instead of punish the bully, and raise a kid's skill to take confident motion. Why instructing a "code of compassion" is a extra robust antidote to bullying than clash solution recommendations. Why 0 tolerance regulations can equivalent 0 considering. the way to evaluation a school's antibullying coverage and masses more. �Read more...
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Additional resources for The bully, the bullied, and the bystander : from preschool to high school : how parents and teachers can help break the cycle of violence
RE-WRITING THE SCRIPT THE BULLY, THE BULLIED, THE BYSTANDER—THE INTERACTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH ROLE-PLAYING, THOUGH COMMONPLACE IN OUR CULTURE, ARE NOT HEALTHY, NOT NORMAL, CERTAINLY NOT NECESSARY, AND IN FACT ARE DEVASTATING TO THE CHILDREN PLAYING THEM. WE AS PARENTS AND EDUCATORS CAN REWRITE THE SCRIPT AND CREATE FOR OUR CHILDREN ALTERNATIVE, HEALTHIER ROLES THAT REQUIRE NO PRETENSE AND NO VIOLENCE. WITH CARE AND COMMITMENT, WE CAN RECHANNEL THE BEHAVIORS OF THE BULLY INTO POSITIVE LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES; ACKNOWLEDGE THE NONAGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS OF THE BULLIED CHILD AS STRENGTHS THAT CAN BE DEVELOPED AND ARE HONORED; AND TRANSFORM THE ROLE OF THE BYSTANDER INTO THAT OF A WITNESS, SOMEONE WILLING TO STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, AND ACT AGAINST INJUSTICE.
IS MEANT TO GET BOTH PARTIES TO LAUGH. 6. IS ONLY A SMALL PART OF THE ACTIVITIES SHARED BY KIDS WHO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. 7. IS INNOCENT IN MOTIVE. 8. IS DISCONTINUED WHEN PERSON TEASED BECOMES UPSET OR OBJECTS TO THE TEASING. TAUNTING 1. IS BASED ON AN IMBALANCE OF POWER AND IS ONESIDED: THE BULLY TAUNTS, THE BULLIED KID IS TAUNTED. 2. IS INTENDED TO HARM. 3. INVOLVES HUMILIATING, CRUEL, DEMEANING, OR BIGOTED COMMENTS THINLY DISGUISED AS JOKES. 4. INCLUDES LAUGHTER DIRECTED AT THE TARGET, NOT WITH THE TARGET.
FOUR MOST POWERFUL ANTIDOTES TO BULLYING STRONG SENSE OF SELF, BEING A FRIEND, HAVING AT LEAST ONE GOOD FRIEND WHO IS THERE FOR YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN, AND BEING ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY GET INTO A GROUP—AND GET OUT WHEN IT DOES NOT SERVE YOU WELL. IF YOUR CHILD IS BULLIED CARING SCHOOLS DON’TS 1. DON’T MINIMIZE, RATIONALIZE, OR EXPLAIN AWAY THE BULLY’S BEHAVIOR. 2. DON’T RUSH IN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM FOR YOUR CHILD. 3. DON’T TELL YOUR CHILD TO AVOID THE BULLY. 4. DON’T TELL YOUR CHILD TO FIGHT BACK.