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By Donald Ogden Stewart

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Additional resources for Perfect Behavior (A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises)

Example text

Occasionally he stirs and a faint spark of life seems to struggle in his sunken eyes. His lips move feebly. You bend over to catch his dying words. " he whispers. "Yes," you reply. "Everything's fine. " The sound of the organ reaches your ears. The groom groans. " he says. Meanwhile the ushers have been performing their duty of showing the invited guests to the various pews. A correctly trained usher will always have ready some cheery word or sprightly bit of conversation to make the guests feel perfectly at home as he conducts them to their seats.

He lives up-stairs over the drug store. Just yell 'Walter' at the third door down the hall. " Being a gentleman, you comply with the lady's request. After bringing Walter to the phone, you obligingly wait for some twenty minutes while he converses with Ethel—no, Madge. When he has finished, you once more enter the booth and tell "Central" you want Bryant 4310. " You ask for Schuyler 6372. " and assuming a graceful, easy position in the booth, you proceed to tear the telephone from the wall. Later on in the day, when you have two or three hours of spare time, you can telephone Miss Doe again and arrange for the evening's visit.

THE BRIDAL DINNER In the evening, the parents of the bride give the bridal dinner, to which all the relatives and close friends of the family are invited. Toasts are drunk in orange juice and rare old Virginia Dare wine, and much good-natured fun is indulged in by all. Speeches are usually made by the bride and groom, their parents, the best man, the maid of honor, the minister and Aunt Harriet. Just a word about the speeches at a bridal dinner. Terrible! A CHURCH WEDDING On the day of the wedding the ushers should arrange to be at the church an hour or so in advance of the time set for the ceremony.

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