By Ken Graber
LI>As the companion of an incest survivor, do you're feeling like a missed sufferer even if your existence has been tremendously stricken by the aftermath of sexual abuse?
Although the influence of incest or sexual abuse can break relationships and attempt long-standing commitments, the data during this e-book could be the key to conserving your dating jointly during the trip to recovery.
Ghosts within the Bedroom presents convenience and tips for companions within the means of restoration. Graber attracts from own event to teach how companions can settle for accountability for his or her personal concerns, aid the restoration of the incest or sexual abuse survivor and paintings towards fixing courting difficulties together.
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Extra info for Ghosts in the Bedroom: A Guide for the Partners of Incest Survivors
This occurs before either person has said anything about alcoholism, drug addiction, co-dependency, dysfunctional families or sexual abuse. We know how to find each other and we feel most at ease with someone whose behavior is familiar, someone who dances the same dance. Finding ourselves in a relationship with the survivor of sexual abuse means we must look at ourselves to see why we were attracted to a person like that. Even if the sexual abuse issue had not been identified when we met, at a subconscious level we were in tune with each other and were communicating on the same wavelength.
In fact it is bad for both. Co-dependents cannot become healthy because their energy and attention are directed away from self-discovery and away from taking responsibility for their own lives and issues. The codependent's well-intentioned activity also interferes with the recovery and health of the dependent or object of attention. This occurs because the dependents are prevented from fully experiencing the natural consequences of their actions and do not learn to take responsibility for their own recovery.
Problem Resolution Conflict and problems are inevitable in human relationships, but they need not lead to fighting and further aggravation. In a relationship workshop with Sid and Suzanne Simon, I learned how to stop fighting and start resolving problems. There are three steps that lead to effective problem resolution: 1. 2. 3. Express the underlying feelings Identify the unmet needs Negotiate an acceptable solution One common mistake is to skip or pass too quickly through the step of expressing the underlying feelings.